ABUSE OF THE CHILD
“Times are changing/Life is so fast/Even kids don’t have time to be kids no more/and that’s sad”
– GQ
For The Kids.
When we hear the words ‘Child Abuse‘ the immediate picture that comes to mind is that of a minor, carrying a pan of oranges obviously heavier than the child, or some pure-water hawking girl on the express, or child conductors.
It goes farther than that.
I’m a habitual early riser, and I like to think I take my job seriously. As a result, I get to the office most times as early as 6:30am. Right in front of my office is a crèche/primary/nursery school. And it galls me to find that as early as I arrive the office, there are some parents who come to drop their kids at that time. They drive up and drop these kids (who are usually half-asleep), and they rush off to start their own day.
I refuse to understand the excuse a parent would have for dropping a child around two years of age (and thereabouts) off on his or her own at that time of the day. And you can only imagine how early the child would have been woken up. Of course…paper chase is why we all are alive…that’s all we live for. And things are hard in Nigeria…we simply cannot have one working parent. To maintain the kind of life we want, it must be all hands on deck. We need money!!!
And since this is the jet age, the kids have to be started off early so that the parents can quickly start reaping their rewards after investing so much in the child. But now I am confused. Since all we live for is money, why do we bother with children?
And more importantly, we struggle so that these children will have an easier life than we had…right? But is it all about fly schools and achievements…just so your kid can make you look good, while lacking the most important things he/she needs to be a valuable asset to the country?
Let’s face it: all the schools in the world cannot teach a child the value of his roots, cannot teach about his cultural values and history; NOT THE WAY A PARENT WOULD. Besides, children learn mostly by seeing, and what transpires in the classroom between teacher-student/teacher-teacher is not enough. Besides, I enjoyed my childhood. I ran around the neighborhood rolling tires(though never in my undies; mom would kill me!), I climbed trees, watched cartoons like Sesame Street and Voltron in which all the men were handsome, all the ladies were beautiful, and there was a clear line between good and evil. We did NOT have so much violence and sex every where…we did not have so much gaming and all that now! As a child, if I was watching TV and I saw a kissing scene…I used to hide my face, honest! I was an innocent! If I spent too much time with some ‘bad’ kids around and I said a wrong/unusual word in the house, I was dealt with severely. I had a good childhood, and though some things went wrong along the way (normally), I never went too far because my parents had tied strings from the house to my heart.
But now, the sad truth is: few parents spend quality time with their children. Father works in telecoms, mum works in a bank. They both come home very late. So who raises the kids?
They spend more time with their various nannies and teachers and house helps…and who knows what this people are teaching the kids! And then the child puts up some strange behaviour(s) and the parent flips and says, “No…that’s not my child.” damn straight he/she is not your kid! He/she was raised by the nanny…it’s even a miracle she still calls you mum/dad!
I know…things are not all black and white…there are several grey areas in life…and most things are not what they seem…but I honestly think these new generation parents have got their priorities all mixed up. What’s important?
The way I see things, we’re fast headed towards oblivion, like our European neighbours where it is a crime punishable by law to beat your child. A good smack never hurt a child; and even the bible recommends that. And I’m sure this is why there exists a rise in parenticide in the above parts of the world. Kid wants to have his way, and since he was never taught to respect and obey his parents, when he can’t have his way it’s a problem. And there’s a gun around. BLAM! Dead parents. Freedom.
I think more attention should be paid to kids…I don’t think setting them out so early on their own is in the best interest of all concerned. I think its parents’ responsibility to make as much time as possible for a child, after all parents are caregivers…the foundation is most important. But then, times are changing, so maybe raising good children are no longer as important as having children.
But I’m just talking.
