“Daddy, what do you think about this statement, “If we don’t build better homes, we would build bigger prisons?” My Sociology lecturer told me to write an article on it.”
“The first thing that comes to my mind is an issue I have thought about so much. Think about the thief, assassin, terrorist or prostitute, who was born as a child like every other person. Then think about other young people who are disciplined, wealthy and successful in their endeavours. Both categories of people came from a family. What then do you think is responsible for the way they turned out?”
“The first category of people was irresponsible while the second category was responsible.”
“It is logical to condemn these people, but listen to this. Jonathan Edwards (born 1703) grew up in a Christian home and had a good upbringing. 1,394 of his descendants were traced and the following was discovered: There were 13 college presidents, 65 college professors, 30 judges, 100 lawyers, 60 physicians, 75 army and navy officers, 100 pastors, 60 prominent authors, 3 United States senators, 80 public servants including governors and ministers to foreign countries, and one vice-president of the United States. By contrast, a contemporary of Edwards was Max Jukes. He was a drunkard, and didn’t pay attention to his family. 540 of his descendants were traced. Of his known descendants, 310 died as paupers, at least 150 were criminals (including 7 murderers), more than 100 were drunkards and half of his female descendents ended up as prostitutes! They were a great expense to the state, costing in crime and pauperism more than $1,250,000. What is responsible for this result: is it the family factor or the individual factor?”
“Dad, but we both know that everyone is responsible for his or her life.
“I agree with you, but no one can rule out the fact that the kind of home you come from will influence to a large extent who you turn out to be. Very few people understand the impact the Home has on the society. The Home is the body entrusted with the task of caring for and training the children of our society. Of course, the foundation of any man’s future is usually laid during childhood. The Home is where the child is taught values and social norms like responsibility, respect and discipline that condition the way he/she behaves and relates with people. It is where the child first learns the meaning of true love and the responsibility of expressing the same to others.
However, today, Lack of understanding, crave for money and the demands of career have eroded fellowship, love and unity in the family. When parents are too busy or place less value on Home building, then the child becomes vulnerable. No wonder Mary Slessor said that ‘half the world’s sorrow comes from the unwisdom of parents’.
Very few parents understand the need for love and affection in their children. A child would do anything to be loved and accepted. R. M. Smith & J. Walters (1978) discovered that “…delinquency (in youth) is associated with: (a) lack of a warm, loving, supportive relationship with the father; (b) minimal paternal involvement with children; (c) high maternal involvement in the lives of youth; and (d) broken homes.”
Any child not properly nurtured and shown love at home would end up deformed in some way and would contribute to the deformity in the society. It has been proved that Teens in one-parent families are on average less attached to their parent’s opinions and more attached to their peers. Combined with less parental supervision, this sets the stage for unruly behaviour. It was also discovered in USA that Oswald (J. F. Kennedy’s assassin) and Sirhan (R. F. Kennedy’s assassin), came from broken homes….” (Yet, the kennedys came from a ‘good home’) So any disruption in the home is a threat to everyone.
So much decay has eaten deep into our families but we fail to realize it. We continue to complain of high rate of corruption, immorality and all manner of evil in our land. We have identified so many of our problems but we have left out the major one – the Home is failing. The family function is being taken over by other social institutions like the school, and also mass media. These institutions (especially the mass media) have done more wrong than good.
“But, what is the way out of this crisis?”
“The solution is a return to the value our fathers placed on the home. Marriage should be seen as a sacred union. Everyone must learn what it takes to build a home. Sexual purity among you young people will help reduce the incidence of unwanted pregnancies which lead to neglected children. Any child who is not adequately cared for today would most likely turn back against the society and fight it.
If we do not build better homes, we would build bigger prisons. Not only that, we would also build bigger psychiatric hospitals, brothels, and rehabilitation centers.”
“Thank you for sharing your ideas with me. I believe this is a message to this generation.”
