Who are you really? Your answer to that question is shaping your destiny, it’s going to determine how you are going to respond to a numerable situations, our beliefs definitely control our behavior, so the belief you have about one person like a friend of yours will determine how you will interact will that person, the belief you have about a food will determine whether you will eat that food, I guess that’s basic. And the beliefs you have about yourself are the most important and potent beliefs of all. Not only the beliefs of what you are capable of, but the beliefs of who you are. Because its not our capabilities that determine our behavior, our capabilities are constant. What we do is based on our identity. Our identity determines our actions.
I was told a story sometime ago about a Scorpion who wanted to make its way across the river to see its family, so it saw a Frog and said; well, what a great way. So the Scorpion said to the Frog, Mr. Frog, I am a Scorpion and I need to get across to my family on the other side of the river. Will you be willing to let me ride on your back to cross to the other side? It’s the only way I can get across. The Frog looked at him and said; I don’t think so! He said why? He said you are a Scorpion, and Scorpions sting Frogs. And as soon as you get on my back and we get across halfway, you’ll sting me. So the Scorpion said; if I sting you, I will die too. I won’t do that I will be killing myself, the Scorpion added. So the Frog finally agreed. He let the Scorpion on his back, he swam across the river, and at about half way across, sure enough, the scorpion stings the frog. And the Frog screams and says; “I can’t believe it”. He looks at the Scorpion and says why did you do that? I’m going to die but you’re going to die too. Why? Then the Scorpion says I’m a Scorpion, and that’s what Scorpions do, they sting Frogs.
What does this story mean? It represents one of the most potent forces in the human personality and that one of the strongest needs in our personality to make certain that our behavior is consistent with our identity. This even becomes more interesting and impactful if our identity is well known to us and possesses positive virtues. There is a very big difference between feeling stupid, doing something stupid and knowing you are stupid. It may sound like semantics, but it makes a huge difference on how we live our lives. We all do stupid things sometimes or even feel stupid, but if you jump from feeling or doing something stupid to thinking or believing you are stupid, that belief of who you are will colour every single behavior you are involved with for the rest of your life. It defines you and it limits you. So you have to be extremely careful about what you believe of yourself because it could change the entire course of your life to the positive or negative.
