THE BALD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

6

I am tall, slim and pretty by any standards, so one would expect that  I’d snag a guy that  is at least reasonably attractive. Sadly, I’ve gotten to that stage where the voices in my head are shouting “age is not on your side, looks are not important, it’s what’s on the inside that really matters’’. That’s why I allowed myself to be setup on a date with a guy that everyone said was “not really fine” but a “really really nice” guy. So I arrive at the restaurant with little expectations, but what I was not prepared for was the PIMPLES, BROWN TEETH and WORST but by no means the LAST flaw, the BALD HEAD. Okay, it is obvious that the “not really fine” part was an exaggeration of gargantuan proportions, but I settle down to see if the “really really nice” part has any element of truth in it. As soon as I was on my sit, he’s telling me how pretty I am. (NICE). Only for him to spoil everything by saying, “but your only problem is that you don’t have ‘IKEBE’, you know that’s what African men like”. I would have ended the date at that point but for the voices of desperation in my head. About an hour passes and I am getting comfortable and actually beginning to enjoy myself when he suddenly points to my weave and says “that’s not your real hair is it? I actually like girls with naturally long hair”. I calmly stand up and walk gracefully out. On my way I see the battered car he came in, and I say to the voices, “If I am to settle for someone that is ugly on the outside as well as inside, he should at least have the kind of money that would leave no one in doubt as to the reason I am marrying him”. And the voices shut up.

Most of the weddings I’ve attended lately have had one thing in common, ‘A BALD HEADED GROOM’. I am not referring to Ibo men whose trademark is to marry at 40+. I am talking about 25 year old guys that sharp girls have trapped with pregnancy.

On a serious note however, Premature Baldness or Androgenic Alopecia is a nuisance as it makes one older beyond your years. It is caused by an increase in testosterone after puberty, which is broken down into the hormone (DHT) when it comes into contact with an enzyme in skin. This inhibits hair growth and balding occurs.

The good news is that there are medications e.g. Propecia, Rogaine, Provillus which significantly stem the rate of hair loss and can also regenerate hair to a certain extent. The bad news is that it is almost impossible to completely regenerate hair when the hair follicles have been damaged. So as Premature Baldness is mainly genetic, if your father is bald, you really don’t need octopus Paul to tell you what your chances are.

P.S  I have naturally long hair and I am still single, but definitely not as desperate.

By Ada Anijah-obi

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  • Basil

    Very interesting……what you said about seeing the inside of people is a great taught I love that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ed SA

    Interesting piece. A social commentary on our own lives and expectations. It’s a funny and serious piece at the same time. We’re all who we are no matter what our personal expectations of life are.

  • MLQ

    LMAO! Nice article. Useful topic.

    I have a friend or two with this problem though Im not sure they care enough about it to need to treat it. But its good to know something can be done for those who do.

  • Camillafrank

    Baldness is supposed to be linked to male testerone so the balder a guy the more likely he is to have high sex drive??? Maybe thats why bald men are so irresistable??!!

  • Patrick I. Nnamani

    i wanted to start yabbing you, but you already yabbed yourself enough!
    nicely written, in that your wickedly witty way. next we know, you’d be giving beauty tips to the women of Aso Rock!
    btw, when did we stop talking about your date to delve into medical terms for ‘simply ageing’? u sef!

  • George Ogbeche

    Firstly,my understanding of Marriage is that it’s not a ritual or an end. It’s a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.There is no perfect marriage, for t…here are no perfect men & women, To start with Ada, what are we looking at from the OUTSIDE,,,,Sure his looks which is not a parameter for judgement in marriage,they say the beauty of a woman covers her inside,,meaning, its not just the beauty one should look at but the inside,,SO from the INSIDE,,,HIS atitudes which covers a lot of things and to me it matters so much,,,the way he relates to people and all negative things u can think of in a typical ill mannered man, but then,his being ugly inside is not a final parameter to crucify him too knowing that What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility,,For money,it plays d major role but not a determining factor when they is LOVE. BUT, TO CAP IT ALL, despite his ugliness inside-out, is the lady marrying him in LOVE?
    In summary, the outside is not an issue, the inside is the underline word and can be dealt with,money is just a driving factor and the public is entitle to their opinion, they are not the people marrying him.