No one gets married with the hopes or aspirations of getting a divorce in the future, but life gets in the way and divorce happens, most times to the unsuspecting ones. Divorce has never and will never be an easy thing as far as every teenager is concerned.
The effects of divorce are far reaching- both to the parents and especially to the child. Parents will do their children a lot of good not only by what they do in the process of divorce, but also by what they don’t do while facing a divorce- be it terrible or not. One of the s things is the common habit of using the child as a middle man.
Do not use your child as a spy or messenger. The most unfair thing to do to a teenager is to make him or her choose between his or her parents. Thank God for technology, we have the internet, the GSM, Postal services and ultimately our mouth. If you have anything to ask your spouse, why not ask using any of these means or at worst, send someone who isn’t your child. There is never and will never be a need for a teenager to pass on a verbal message between parents. After all, before the divorce, you spoke to your spouse with your own mouth, so why put your child in the middle of both of you?
Similarly, especially in the case of infidelity, it is not in the place of your child (teenagers most especially) to be the informant or spy watching every move of your spouse. What example do you intend to lay for your child when you do that? If you have a question for your spouse about something he or she isn’t doing right, feel free to ask them personally. If they refuse to talk to you, unfortunately, that is your own problem to deal with, not the child’s.
It is mentally, psychologically and emotionally and even physically damaging to make a child feel as though he or she has to choose between each parent’s trusts whether or not there is a divorce involved!
