‘…how great a matter (result of a consequence) a little fire kindles…And the tongue (an avenue for communication) is a fire, a world (act, action or vogue) of iniquity (sin): so is the tongue…’ James 3:5c-6a.
Let’s take it one after the other. The tongue is a fire and a little fire can start a whole barrage of confusion. A little fire can retrogressively set individuals, cities, communities, families and even nations many years back. A little fire can lead to a serious fire outbreak or disaster, which does consume/destroy lives, properties, investments, etc. Now, the Holy Book compares that ‘little fire’ to our tongue. In other words, what we say can destroy.
What’s the relevance? You see, we use our tongue to talk (communicate) and when you use that tongue to propose or to accept a proposal for a relationship, various events will be set in motion. Part of these events is heaven recording what has happened “…that every idle word that men (anybody) shall speak (using the tongue), they shall give account thereof in the Day of Judgement. For by your words you shall be justified and by your words you shall be condemned” Matthew. 12:36-37.
I seriously pity youths who take marriage (relationship/dating) proposals with every trace of levity, with all frivolity. In reality and in truth, ‘a broken relationship is better (far better) than a bad, remorseful, unhappy and incompatible marriage’. It is however the better of two evils. It is better not to start dating at all than to have a broken one.
The tongue was used to start the relationship and heaven had recorded it. God had taken note of it and after some couple of months or years, you renege on the agreement. Heaven will simply take your word as being idle talk, complete jabbering, which you will be answerable to on the Day of Judgement. That word (proposal or acceptance), you have reneged upon either justifies or condemns you. By starting a relationship, you have entered into a covenant, a spiritual agreement that, unknowingly to mankind (many times), heaven takes with all seriousness. Why? Because God ‘…magnifies (exalts, regards, honours, esteems and respects) his words above his entire name’ Psalms 138:2.
If God takes his words more serious than his name, He expects us to do likewise. Your words or what you utter travels faster, easier and last longer. In fact, it is your word(s) that gives you a name. Every idle word will be judged because every idle word is being recorded and taken serious in heaven.
Viewing it from a not so different perspective; it is a fact that the way one thinks, is the way he/she will be. This is because what one thinks about is what he will talk about or utter, which ultimately will be his/her pursuit. In another sense, what you think or have in you is what you confess. If you confess negatively, you possess negativity. If you think you can never be rich or wealthy, you will confess it and because you have done this, you will live in poverty.
By uttering negativity, we automatically invite it into physical manifestation. If what we say becomes reality in our lives, do you still hold the view that your utterances before, starting and during any broken relationship is of no importance? Even if it has no relevance, don’t you think it is better to be on the safer side, by not saying anything at all?
Somebody might say, “What if I didn’t use my tongue to communicate the message?” It does not matter. What matters is the fact that you have communicated. You had impressed an opinion on the other person or persons. Do you know how many lives have been destroyed due to broken relationships? How many sorrows, hates, angers, distrusts, curses etc have been invoked? Many have lost their senses, pride and self-worth. Some that have been affected by broken relationships do not even see any reason(s) for living anymore and had become suicidal or had prematurely and untimely ended their lives.
Somebody once said, “What if I made it clear before starting the relationship that it will be on a trial bases? All right! But what if that trial did not work out and it led to pregnancy? Even if it did not lead to pregnancy, the tendency is high that somebody will get involved, attached, affectionate, dependent and intimate. What if the trial did not work out and none of the above effects occurred? That is, both partners just went their different ways and nobody got hurt. Well, it is not an impossibility however, how many of such relationships end up this way? Get serious!!!
I am not talking about a date/relationship that was broken because a partner committed sexual sin or because of external forces that could not just be overlooked. I am talking of a relationship that was broken because a partner’s interest diminished, due to some flimsy and selfish excuse(s). It ceased because somebody had a secret agenda, an ulterior motive thus, any mistake could be easily lashed upon to break the relationship. For example: “We are just not compatible”. How much energy have you two put into solving this? “She nags a lot”. This can be worked upon! “He is too strict” Accepted, but can still be worked upon. “She is not sociable”. “He does not fit into my class”. “She is not intelligent enough”. “His dress sense is awful”. “She is the dirtiest girl I have ever met”. “I don’t think he has the wits to take care of my needs”. All of a sudden, you have become God that undoubtedly knows the future. In fact the list is and can be endless.
Dating is not child’s play. It belongs to the matured; to those that have grown physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially (or purpose driven) and spiritually. Stop playing with the emotions of people because when you propose or accept a proposal, others hear and somehow get involve. When you break a relationship, it may seem that it is only the person you broke the relationship with that is affected; that suffers. What about the person’s parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunties, colleagues, friends, acquaintances, etc? What about the person’s job, education, ministry or whatsoever the person is doing at the time?
Do not think I am making it up, I know what I am saying. A close pal of mine failed his ‘Industrial Training’ course because of a broken relationship. At the time it happened, it was never heard that a student in this particular university ever failed or could ever fail an industrial training course, but he (my pal) was so disrupt that he did not and could not say a word when he was to defend the training. In fact he broke down crying and was adjudged not to have done the training at all thus, was demoted to the lower level.
Words are powerful. They either build or destroy. Promises made are expected to be kept. If you fail to keep it, heaven condemns you on the inevitable Day of Judgement no matter how long it takes. Please and please, do not start or enter any relationship without being a 120% sure or assured divinely. It is no joke. You are not dealing only with your life and future but with the life and future of a whole lot of people including the unborn. Thus, you need to be physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially, and spiritually mature.
