Niche: Self Improvement
Odinakaeze Chinonye P.
Self Improvement… Self Actualization
“A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with – a man is what he makes of himself”. The words of Alexander Graham Bell above define in absolute the import and value of self improvement. As much as humans desire change and improvement in life, it is not enough to simply want it. Action is required. Knowledge diminishes when nothing is added to it. Rightly said, all things remain in a particular state until a relevant force is applied. Only then can change set in. We spend a great part of our lives merely complaining about situations but fail to do anything to effect a change or make any difference. Inevitably, one who would make any difference in one’s environment needs start with one’s self. Self improvement, like every other process of learning and development, requires self effort.
The key word towards self actualization- the fulfillment of one’s greatest human potential is ‘fundamentals’. You need to have the fundamentals down or nothing else goes in.
The first step is that of a goal driven destination. There is admirable in a man who simply coasts along no matter how modest he is about it. To the man who does not know where he is going, anywhere is his destination. It is important to have specific dreams and goals. If you do not have goals, your peers would set them for you. Successful individuals are intensely goal driven. Your goals should be tied in with your natural capacity, in other words, your talents. Learn to recognise your intrinsic potentials and use them in your pursuit of success. Focus your energy towards achieving your set goals and within a set period. As old a cliché as it is, the saying that time is money is dead on. Learn the importance of time and time management. Time, like money, must be managed explicitly. However in Mark McCormack’s words, ‘to manage time well, you have to believe in your own knowledge’.
Seek and equip yourself with the tools you need to turn your beliefs, ideas and visions into practical life strategies. Eschew negativity and crippling emotions – fear, self-pity, doubt, anger, envy, dishonesty and feelings of inferiority and never try to rationalize or justify them. If you believe you can succeed, then you have almost succeeded. If you do not believe you can, you have already failed. Retain a positive mental outlook with confidence and conviction no matter how bleak the situation seems. It is what you believe with feeling that comes to reality. Engage in a continuous positive inner dialogue that is consistent with your goals. Visualize your goals frequently, vividly and intensely. If you must take charge of your life, you need to acquire what I refer to as the classic type A personality traits- be hardworking, driven to demanding the best from yourself and never settle for less. As insidious as the influence of violence, drugs, tobacco, drink or sexual perversion on the human mind is our pursuit of the trivial, our tolerance of the second rate and our acceptance of the mediocre. Set principles and make a declaration of what you stand for and watch if anyone would dare shove commonplace ideas down your throat. It is of essence to always ask if you are spending your time on the right things. When dissatisfaction sets in, seek clarity. You can always make a change of plans but only if you have one. As long as the goal is clear, flexibility is permitted. However, doing this often would indicate inconsistency. Realizing what you really want ‘stops you from chasing butterflies and puts you to work digging gold’. Realizing what you really want aids you to channel your will power to go for it and the faith to believe that it can be achieved.
There is need to empower yourself, mentally and physically. Find something to do. Be it voluntary. Even voluntary work is an opportunity to learn how to deal with dilemmas that are part of the human system. It is better to work without pay than to stay idle without pay. Do a complete skills’ analysis on yourself. Where you need to improve on, seek the means to. Learn. Knowledge, in-depth knowledge, is the key to independent living, the key to all your aspirations and dreams. Naturally, one is invaluable in a field one is adequately knowledgeable in.
In the acquisition of knowledge, active learning is best achieved through reading. Books are to the mind what exercise is to the body. The mind is developed through reading and concepts formed. Always feed your mind positively. Read books and stories about successful people. Better yet, read the stories of people who have overcome the challenges you face. A good book has been said to be the best of one’s friends, the same today and forever. Relevant information on what you need alerts your attention to the people and opportunities in your environment that would help you meet set targets. Do not read for the mere act of reading. Read to make a difference first on yourself and then, your environment. British poet, Samuel Coleridge once divided readers into four classes: “1. Sponges, who absorb all they read and return it nearly in the same state, only a little dirtied. 2. Sand-glasses who retain nothing and are content to get through a book for the sake of getting through the time. 3. Strain-bags, who retain merely the dregs of what they read, and return it nearly in the same state, only a little dirtied. 4. Mogul diamonds, equally rare and valuable, who profit by what they read and reflecting, refracting, and enlarging upon it enable others to profit by it also.” The last class should be your ideal class.
Similarly, you need a role model. Role models magnetize and influence the mind. Next to reading, the best way to train the mind is through mentoring. The most effective mentor is the one with whom you have an inter-personal relationship. When you understudy other leaders, you pick up good things or identify things to avoid under similar circumstances. Mentoring and apprenticeship produce competent people. By following you learn that good leadership is mainly for the benefit of the followers, not otherwise. Observe your role model and assist him at responsibilities if you are opportune. Set targets for yourself and measure your performance on the backdrop of his. It would seem an enormous task and you might never come close to measuring up but it would be encouraging and boost you to want to attain greater heights.
No form of change occurs without inconveniences. There will be obstacles on your path. Make it your single minded objective to scale them. If and when ever you need help, seek it from the right avenues. No man ever made it all alone. Clarify your values. Keep a list of your most important goals and review them as often as you need to. Ask yourself the most important questions and attempt to answer them. Value relationships and be courteous as much as you can. Invest considerable time towards building healthy and effective relationships with those you are in contact with. Be ready to admit it when you are wrong. A bad apology will always be better than no apology. Your relationships define your life. However, do not be overly obsessed with what others think of you. Moderation is the key word. Like e rolling ball, everything you do should prompt you towards your goals. Stay disciplined.
You must believe that you will reach your destination even if it means building a road if there is none. Persist until you succeed. The words of Jean de la Bruyere come in handy; ‘there is no road too long to the man who advances deliberately and without undue haste; there are no honours too distant to the man who prepares himself for them with patience’.
Whatever you do, do not quit on yourself.
