At a sleep over with my girls I realised the only topic that kept us up and talking through the night was that of our men. It’s been obvious for ages that men can never fully understand the thought processes of us ladies and no matter how many pointers you provide, they still won’t get it. So I’m writing this one for the womenfolk so they read this and go “This is so true, I try to tell him this (in not so many words) everyday!”. For the men reading this we hope and pray you sub-consciously pick on what we hint at everyday; all the things that are not okay that you do and those we wish you would.
We love to cuddle. Yes we may come home from work looking harassed and not in the mood for some loving. But all we need might just be a little hugging and holding. Men tend to expect cuddling to end in some loving but we ladies see cuddling, foreplay and sex as three distinct processes which may occur consecutively or singularly. So the next time we come home looking frazzled , it’s not okay for you to want to give us some space or demand sex either, a little cuddle might just do the trick.
We love anniversaries. The three-month anniversary might seem a bit far-fetched to the men and it makes you wonder if there was a date when you both decided that you were dating and not just together. But according to your woman, there might actually be a three month anniversary, and FYI the day we decided to get serious with you was basically the date we started to date you. And of course presents are a must so you don’t seem to be a cheapskate. We ladies tend to make up so many unimaginable anniversaries (the first day I pooped while you were in the shower anyone?) just so we could get presents; we love presents. So the next time we remind you of a seemingly absurd anniversary which is around the corner, just humour us and we might ‘launch’ that Victoria Secret lingerie we’ve been saving up.
We’d like to hang out with you too. It’s a weekend and your boys are waiting for you at your meeting place and you’re asking us if it’s okay to go hang with them after we’d planned on spending the day together. If we say no we’re labelled the evil clingy girlfriend, if we say yes then we’re the girlfriend who’s on-point. But the truth is deep down inside we don’t want to say yes because it’s not okay. We love hanging out with you too. Lazy Saturdays should be us-time, when we gossip about our friends, discover our new favourite restaurant, make love, watch a series we both love together… We know you need your guy time and we respect that but when we set aside a weekend for us we don’t want to know if your boys discovered a new game on Xbox 360, we need you to stick to the plan.
We don’t see why you need a ‘female’ best friend. Like what are we then; your freak in the sheets?! Yes she was in the picture as your best friend before we came in but when you keep hanging out with her more and telling her our business then it’s not okay. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not saying you shouldn’t keep your best friend, on the contrary we love that we know the other girl you’re hanging out with that isn’t us but we need you to find a balance. And yes since we do all the girlfriend things including the loving, we should take priority over the best friend. Being a couple means sharing everything, from your hopes and dreams down to whatever it is you tell her that you don’t tell us (and you should). We simply don’t see why you need a lady best friend (just the way you don’t see how we need a male best friend right?), but since she exists we’d deal with it but we expect you to respect us enough to keep our business private and not discuss what we do and when. A great solution would be to encourage her to hang with the both of us together once in a while and if she has a man of her own, then that’s the icing on the cake. Basically, find a balance between her and us you’re set.
I know some of you may ask, why don’t ladies just say what they want when they do, well maybe it’s because we’ve expressly told you dozens of times – with our feelings!!! Women don’t necessarily have to ‘say’ what we want; we’re not built that way. We tend to ‘show’ you with our emotions. So next the time you burp in public and your lady doesn’t talk to you for 10 minutes or only answers in single phrases, and you recall she’s told you once that she finds burping in public gross, then yeah she’s mad at you for burping. And if you would just apologize instead of wondering why she’s acting up, then you just might get lucky later on in the day. Yes we ladies might not say much except when it’s some sweet gossip, but when you apologize without even knowing what we’re on about, that opens up a channel for us to voice out the issue and then we both win; you by knowing what you did wrong and we having the figurative load off our chest. So the next time you think we’re just acting up, stop and remember that helpful article you read that day (wink) and utilise the section that best deals with the situation. And as always, communication between partners is the key to a healthy relationship.
