“I can never date a married man!” “What is wrong with dating a married man?” “Aren’t there young, single and available guys anymore?” I looked at the heated faces of my three friends all trying to justify their arguments and come across as the most knowledgeable on this subject and I smiled. Not so long ago I would have been a part of the ruckus and you would have heard my voice screaming to be heard above all the others. But now, I just sat there looking at all three of them wondering if any of them knew what they were talking about. Yes, we were all familiar with the current trend in school as all girls on campus seemed to have a “sugar daddy” or “Aristo” ( a coinage from the word Aristocrat) to their credit with the evidence of flashy clothes, fast cars and the general “living large” lifestyle. They all had different reasons for bagging an aristo, but as for Jane “I can never date a married man!” no reason was good enough to justify this action. I had been there. Some of these girls believed that it was the trend, so if you can’t beat them, join them. While others saw no other option. It was either sink or swim and for these set of girls, one should not be so quick to judge them because some of them were actually coming from sad places. Be that as it may, I had my reservations about voicing my opinion to my friends because I was not for or against any of them and I was not sitting on the fence either. My reason being, I remembered Ebele. She wasn’t with us that day but she also had an opinion on this issue which was the same as Jane’s but Ebele decided to be more objective in her thinking. She was the inquisitive one amongst us and wanted to know why everybody was so into the Aristo business so she set out to explore. Not that she went “Aristo hunting”, but she decided that if any suitable one came her way, (they were all over the place so it wasn’t going to be a hard task) she would be more receptive. So along came Gbenga, a youngish (Aristos these days don’t have to be all bald and pot bellied) bank executive with all the trimmings. He was attentive, knew how to treat a lady, picked up her bills and was quite active on the social scene. Of course they had to be this way because for crying out loud, they were married. They have to be attentive to their wives, treat them right and pick up their bills. All these antics would work on us girls whose boyfriends are still trying to get the hang of taking proper care of a lady, but before they come around to it, the Aristos have brainwashed their babes and from there on, there is no going back. For Ebele, she really didn’t need the material aspect of the relationship as she was quite comfortable already but according to her, the company, socializing with the who is who in the society and Gbenga’s attention was all very flattering. You had to hand it to the guy, he really knew how to take care of a lady.
One faithful day, Ebele burst into the room in tears, wailing the words, “I feel so ashamed” after much probing, she confessed that she and Gbenga had kissed and played a little hanky panky. Jane hissed and said, “So you thought you could come out unscathed? You should have known better than to get emotionally entangled with an Aristo, everybody knows that Aristos are just for business, madam investigator.” Ebele wailed louder and we tried to calm her down but to no avail. She said she felt so guilty because she had just committed adultery. The truth of the matter is that she didn’t have to sleep with him or kiss him to commit adultery she had already done that while spending time together and becoming intimate. She got carried away like most girls but remembered early enough that what goes around comes around and you have to live with the consequences of your actions (there are always consequences) so she backed out. Some would rather not face the reality of their activities, while some realize too late.
As for me, I believe you should never say never, but let your good conscience guide you. There are some instances in life where things happen to you that were unplanned for. At those times you have to take your stand and stand for what you believe in till the very end. Don’t play around fire, because you will be sure to get burned. This goes to all the Ebeles out there.
