Loneliness is just not a painful condition to be endured without any complaint but when we are gripped with loneliness, it is well worth our time and effort by the grace of our Creator to fight our way put of it. Not around it. How?
1. Accept what cannot be changed: If, in spite of all efforts to find a mate, you find none; if re-marriage after divorce is not acceptable or possible; if you lose your mate at a stage of life that prevents you from taking another, come to terms with that fact. Accept it. With acceptance come activity, traveling, enjoyment of the companionship of old friends and acquaintances, spiritual deepening and intellectual curiosity.
2. Refuse to retreat into a shell: Self-withdrawal as an act of grief, sorrow, sadness and desolation is like pouring petrol into fire. It will lead to serious depression.
3. Be realistic about the other side: A realistic assessment will often tell us that the thing we want so badly may not be as sweet as we think. Having a mate looks like a wonderful solution to everything, and when it is good, it does solve many problems; but when it is bad, it solves little or nothing and indeed, does create a whole new barrage of problems and agonies. There is nothing quite so miserable as wishing you were alone thus, being alone at times is better than being tied to a very difficult mate.
4. Have confidence in God’s plan(s) and pray: God is always working for the good of everyone who loves Him and He is even more ready to give good things to people who ask so, don’t stop praying.
5. Have a thankful attitude: Rather than complaining and lusting after what God has not made possible, be grateful for what He has given you already. Give thanks with a grateful heart.
6. Refuse to stop living: Singleness is not a sentence to loneliness but an opportunity for service and of developing different kinds of relationships. Never agree to stop living and as you do, set yourself a goal or goals. It will keep you busy for an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Spend the time developing yourself.
7. Reach out for friends: As you do this, remember that ‘bad friends will destroy you’.
8. Care for and accept the love of another in return: Anyone who really cares for someone and is cared for by that person in return cannot be fully lonely.
9. Maintain your physical health: Sluggishness of body contributes to sluggishness of soul (mind, emotions and will) and spirit thus, leading to a depressed emotional state which is often the end result.
10. Never think or feel yourself inferior: Thoughts like, “Why me?” “Why as nobody proposed to me?” “All my mates are either engaged or married” “It must be my lack of proper and enough education” “I must really be ugly” etc, will lead simply to lose of value and so, inferiority complex. Get them out of your system.
Conclusively, patience is needed to find the person, establish the network or change the attitudes that have caused our loneliness but when we discover and establish relationship with the person, the effect(s) of the problem disappears and we are free. This should be a great encouragement for us suffering from loneliness.
