What do I do in dating? How do I behave or conduct myself in my dating period? A close friend of mine puts it this way: “What are the dos and don’ts in dating?
How does one maintain companionship without having sex? How do you maintain seeing each other without intercourse? What really are the dos and don’ts during the dating period? How far do we really go while dating?
THE DOS
Firstly, what dating is really all about is to know the guy or gal. Get to know your partner. I mean his/her person’s likes, dislikes, natural temperament(s). Is he/she:
• Sanguine: Comically outgoing and expressive.
• Choleric: Work/purpose driven, pushy and demanding.
• Melancholic: Sacrificially sensitive and creative.
• Phlegmatic: Receptively sensitive and reserve.
Does he/she have a combination of two or three temperaments? Whether your partner is an introvert (in-going), extrovert (out-going) or in-between the first two is very important; know his/her background, friends, relatives, to the tiniest of details like choice of colour, food, drinks, film, spiritual traits, song(s), talents (spiritual and natural), vision, goals, hopes, beliefs, doctrines, fears etc. In a nutshell, it is to uncover, in order to discover and possibly (with God’s help) recover or restore or correct your partner. Get to know him or her. Strive to correct his or her weaknesses (bad sides). Enjoy, build and appreciate his or her strengths (good sides).
Secondly, dating is also an opportunity for self discovery or for some of us, further self discoveries. God is the only perfect Being. What are your likes, dislikes, natural temperament(s), vision, goals, hopes, weaknesses, strengths etc? It is to know self; correct self; enjoy, build and appreciate self. Dating time is not an ideal time for character pretension. Pretence will not help you at all but will rather add to your problems. The ladies are more prone to or guilty of this. Let your partner understand who you really are. Let him or her understand your inner being (psyche) with its diverse feelings, characters, urges, abilities, psychic tendencies etc. If you fail in this with pretence, then you have started laying the foundation of your marital life on sand that will definitely collapse.
Thirdly, allow your partner to get to know or discover your person; to correct your weaknesses, influencing you positively; to build, enjoy and appreciate your strengths. It is only when you allow him or her to do this that the job will be done with less stress and difficulty for both of you. Allowing this in your life will strengthen your relationship; increasing, aiding and quickening your bonding in heavenly love and affection.
Some fear and belief that if their partner gets to know about their true person or certain aspects of their inner being, then the relationship ends. I say he or she either does not love you or is not the right person for you. Part of God’s purpose for dating and marriage is to bring two distinct individuals together to complement each other thus, taking them to perfection. Your partner’s reaction(s) to your bad sides (weaknesses) should not and must not be mockery, rejection or irritation if he or she is truly God’s choice for you. Your true (Godly choice) partner will first accept your person in love and later try to correct your faults. Pretence will ultimately end in offence.
Summarily the dos are:
1. Firstly:
• Know/discover your partner’s person.
• Correct your partner’s weaknesses or faults.
• Build, enjoy and appreciate your partner’s strengths.
2. Secondly:
• Know/discover yourself or your person.
• Correct your weaknesses or faults.
• Build, enjoy and appreciate your strengths.
3. Thirdly:
• Allow your partner to know/discover you or your person.
• Allow your partner to correct or influence you positively.
• Allow your partner to build, enjoy and appreciate your strengths.
