Dating is to have an appointment with; to be going out with, or to have an intimate relationship with somebody. Most times it implies having an illicit sexual relationship with somebody. However, in the context of this article dating, means the act of trying to please somebody in order to get something in return; especially the support, consent and approval of a person. It is the period of time when two (male and female) people are in a romantic or love relationship before they get married. Dating is a time of studying, learning about, getting use to and having knowledge about the other person.
Two words needs to be thoroughly dealt with here, because it seems these words have (somehow) been misunderstood or given the wrong meaning/interpretation; ‘romance and love’. What is romance? What is Love?
Romance is an exciting relationship between two people who are in love with each other. It is love or a feeling of being in love and not lust. It is a relationship that is filled with all the trills and trappings of excitement; whose foundation, fountain and source is love. Let me ask; does this excitement include sexual intercourse? It seems that for us to thoroughly and fully grasp the meaning of romance; we have to understand what love is…
Love is a strong feeling of deep affection for somebody or something. There is a strong belief that love is a strong feeling of affection for somebody that one is sexually attracted to. I will ask again; is to be sexually attracted to somebody a license for raw, practical, pre-marital sexual intercourse with the person? If we truly understand love, we will not have much problem with romance, so, what really is love? “Beloved…love is of God (comes from God)…for God is love”. (I John. 4:7-8).
Beloved, dearest, somebody I love very much, that is highly and preciously dear/important to me; I want you to know that love emanated, sprang out, evolved and or came out from God, the Creator, founder and Source of all things. So, if love came from God then, He is the embodiment of love. It means if you have God, then you have love.
The problem in life is that there is a worldly type of love and a God kind of love. Man’s type of love is highly conditional. It is better referred to as friendship, expecting something in return. Man loves when he is loved in return; he gives when he was, is or will be given. When he is cheated, maltreated, not shown consideration, generosity and kindness, he stops loving. His love is limited and when stretched, it breaks; crashes or stops functioning.
God’s own kind of love is the complete opposite. It is unconditional; gives and serves without expecting anything in return. In fact, it is a type of love that does not need to be stirred up to act or function. It never stops loving no matter how bad He was, is and will be treated. It does not act/react to our actions or inactions. Divine love is eternal, unchangeable, never dies or fails even when there is no response, reciprocation, reassurance or demonstration of faithfulness.
Let us create a scenario: Let’s say you (male) are married with two or three kids and one night, hired killers came to your home. Their mission is to kill your wife. Will you (male), for the romantically strong and deep affection you have for your wife, beg and entreat them to kill you, instead of your wife. Christ voluntarily died for the church and the Bible commands husbands to love their wives the same way Christ loved the church; He loved it so much that He gave His life. Can you give your life for that person you claim to be romantically and excitingly in love with? I think you are beginning to understand dating.
Are you sure it is not the physique, rounded breasts, well shaped and curved hips; big, stimulating and inviting bottoms; long and stunning legs; powerfully attractive and beautiful face that you have strong and deep exciting affection for? That you actually love and not the individual?
Another scenario: years into the marriage, your husband had an unfortunate accident. He did not die, thank God, but lost about four of his front teeth, one eye and his fore and hind limbs became useless. He became in short a handicap thus, putting a big question mark on his ability to provide for you and the kids. I am too sure you will still love him far more than you did when you were still dating. Too sure it will not be pity that you will have or feel for him, but a strong and deep exciting affection of love. I am too sure!!!
I want to believe and trust that the Holy Spirit is teaching you what dating really is. So, if you are dating as in, you have somebody you are planning to get married to, do you reasonably, sincerely, honestly and spiritually believe that you have a romantic, exciting, strong and deep affection for that individual?
Love is long suffering, kind, humble, respectful, polite, selfless, tolerant, simple, hopeful, enduring and forbearing. Love does not envy, does not boast and does not get angry easily, unnecessarily and or unjustifiably. Love rejoices in the truth and not in evil, believes all things except when proven otherwise. Love does not and cannot stop, cease or die. Love shall cover (forgive) a multitude of sins. (I Corinthians. 13:1-8; I Peter. 4:8b).
