Yesterday evening, I heard of a parishioner’s death. His death comes only weeks after a family friend’s death. And it left me pondering, yet again, as I do, every single day. I ponder death, the after life and what endless happiness lies in the beautiful world beyond. I think to myself, what would be my first re-action when I behold Jesus’ face? All I desire is to be with Jesus forever! To find a little way into Heaven. Whatever good I do now, here on earth would be a drop in the ocean as there are countless people involved with Orphans/Lepers/Prisoners like me… but I do not seek greatness or recognition, all I want is to contribute, make my own contribution in this world and pray that it will be acceptable to God since all I do is out of pure love!
Life brings with it, countless heart breaks, dreams unfulfilled, struggles, pain and tribulations… it would be quite sad if we suffer in this life and suffer in the next and this is the reason I urge people to sing through the pain, all the time for the rewards will be great in the life to come! Has your spouse abandoned/dumped you for another? Broken your marriage vows? Sing through the pain. Are you in love with someone and ready to offer them your heart and they’ve given you a cold shoulder in return? Sing through the pain. Is your child causing you great pain? Sing through the pain. Have you been laid off/fired? Sing through the pain? Have you got a desire, a dream that’s been unfulfilled? Sing through the pain. Are you yearning for a partner? Sing through the pain? Want to get closer to God but keep falling? Sing through the pain. Sing, sing all the way and put the devil to shame! Nothing annoys him this much. He would definitely want you complaining and cursing… but put him to shame and sing instead!
My first encounter with death was when I lost my childhood friend, Rachel. Then, I knew I wasn’t going to be seeing her again and I longed to be present at her burial. It hurt. But I got over it. But I wasn’t prepared for what was to come next: The death of my young brother. I can still remember that day. I returned home and the house was quiet and I knew it was definitely bad news. I went into my parents’ room and my mother was on the bed – crying. I couldn’t believe it! I went to the parlour, sank in a chair and began to cry. My heart was too heavy and I was totally shattered, devastated, heartbroken! I was grief-stricken. That grief lasted for so many years as I had to grow up real fast. No playmates, no one to talk to or laugh with. Do chores and think like an adult. I would go about my normal business but at the back of my mind, was the image of my beloved brother. I became this emotional, sensitive person. Words broke me in pieces. At the slightest rude word, I’d begin to cry. I never had friends. Just classmates. After school, I’d return alone. I was the shy, withdrawn, intelligent, attentive, inquisitive one in class. But no friends! Yes! Death could have an impact on one’s life.
Somehow, I was able to see through it all and not blame God or anything. That period saw me getting very close to my Jesus and that was the very beginning of my dreams/visions/revelations and voices in my head. Jesus would come to me frequently in my dreams to reveal things to me, He would direct me on things to do and they would work. My diary was birthed at this time. This diary is now 10 years old. I found total peace and comfort with Jesus and He assured me so long as I lived a good life, I’d see my brother again. Who would resist these words?
Death struck again! This time my maternal grandmother. It hurt me so bad as her death was a result of sickness. It could have been averted, I kept telling myself. But what could I do? All I could do for her was pray and I still pray. Other deaths within my fold followed until last year, 2009 when our church lost our assistant cathedral administrator, Fr. Chris Daniel. I couldn’t explain but I felt the SAME kind of grief I felt when I lost my brother and I found myself not wanting to live again! You see the impact great friends could have on you? I’d never mourned like that in years as I was crying virtually everyday for weeks. After his burial, Fr. Bartholomew’s words soothed my aching heart: We shouldn’t mourn like pagans, like there’s no hope. Fr. Barth’s now the new asst. Cathedral administrator.
Despite all of these, I still ponder death. I sometimes love to sit still and think deeply about the kind of death that would befall me; how God would choose to call me to Him. And what people would remember me for. So many things would run across my mind and all I’d ever hope for is, to make it to Heaven in my own LITTLE WAY. That the little acts of kindness of mine done out of pure love will be acceptable to God.
For God, I can gladly sacrifice a lot of things. My Salvation is utmost and so is the Salvation of my family and friends. I don’t joke with matters involving my or anyone else’s Salvation. I urge you too, to take time off from whatever it is you’re doing everyday and sit before Jesus and ponder life with Him in the other World. You may say, “No way Rita Pam! I cannot do that… death scares me, why would I think of it everyday?” But you know what? For me, thinking about death everyday only makes me ready for it! Not thinking about it causes anxiety. After a long hard day, I just love to think about my Sweet Jesus and how He’d embrace me and give me eternal rest after all of life’s struggles. To me, it’s as simple as pondering God’s love for me or any other thing. This has always been my goal and the desire of my heart – To make Heaven and to see my loved ones make Heaven too!
You too can do it! If this isn’t your orientation, you could start each day, or after each day, by examining your conscience and thinking over where you’ve gone wrong. Analyze your faults and make it a duty to repent of them and be determined to be a changed person. Each day, write down an achievement e.g. “I overcame anxiety/anger today” etc Be sensitive before God. Never overlook even the smallest faults coming from you. Self-examination! This is a healthy way to keep your relationship with God ever green. By examining yourself each day, you’d be conscious not to sin against God and would be preparing yourself for that day when you’d see God face to face. Every Christian should learn to do this.
So many people would rather not talk about death but it’s no illusion! This is reality and we must all face it someday. You like it or not, our mortal bodies must rot and our souls must come before God in judgment. There’s no escaping it. So, face it you must and learn to live positively with the thought. After all, who would want to stay back in a world filled with insecurities, heartbreaks and trials. Wouldn’t you rather embrace peace everlasting, a world where there’d be no more tears?
Here are a few Quotes to keep you Spiritually energized and uplifted:
(All Quotes are from the Holy Bible “The Message”)
Psalm 23:4:
Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I’m not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
makes me feel secure.
Romans 8:11:
But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God’s terms. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s!
Revelation 14:13:
I heard a voice out of Heaven, “Write this: Blessed are those who die in the Master from now on; how blessed to die that way!”
“Yes,” says the Spirit, “and blessed rest from their hard, hard work. None of what they’ve done is wasted; God blesses them for it all in the end.”
1 Corinthians 15:55:
But let me tell you something wonderful, a mystery I’ll probably never fully understand. We’re not all going to die—but we are all going to be changed. You hear a blast to end all blasts from a trumpet, and in the time that you look up and blink your eyes—it’s over. On signal from that trumpet from heaven, the dead will be up and out of their graves, beyond the reach of death, never to die again. At the same moment and in the same way, we’ll all be changed. In the resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: everything perishable taken off the shelves and replaced by the imperishable, this mortal replaced by the immortal. Then the saying will come true:
Death swallowed by triumphant Life!
Who got the last word, oh, Death?
Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now? It was sin that made death so frightening and law-code guilt that gave sin its leverage, its destructive power. But now in a single victorious stroke of Life, all three—sin, guilt, death—are gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ. Thank God!
I believe in you,
Rita Pam Tarachi
