When your grieviance is legitimate,FIRST Talk to the person with whom you have the issue.When you are UPSET,your attitude is to tell everybody.It feels right,justified, and even meaningful.Well-meaning friends will ENCOURAGE IT AND EVEN HELP YOU TO PUBLICISE IT.you ‘ll feel better when you have handled it your own way and you said what is in your mind.You feel okay without you paying any attention to how the other person feel.But that is not the best way.
Courage ,humility and wisdom are required to face your offender privately,but it’s God’s way.It contains the conflicts,minimises embarrassement and increases the possibility of resolution and restoration,which is God’s real concern.
You MUST endevour to speak in love,not in words meant to hurt or judge the other person.But rather let your WORD be gracious,conciliatory and aimed at solution,not’ one man show’.
Tell your offender your goal is not to to humiliate them or to get revenge,but rather to resolve your differences,strenghten your relationship,frienship and workability.
As you do this you focus on the future you can change rather than the past you can change.IT therefore improves your ability to see them the way you will like to see them.This way,you GIVE GOD THE OPPORTUNITY TO WORK ON THEM.Changing people is God’s job.He has the ways and means to get the job done properly and then you can RELIQUISH YOUR PRIDE ,step outside of the role you’re playing,try to become the other person and ask yourself’ Can I SEE their point of view? Can I appreciate why they might feel as they do?Can I HELP them understand where I am coming from?’The STRONGER we are in personality and VIEWS, the more we RISK ALIENATING THE VERY PEOPLE WE NEED BY BEING INFLEXIBLE AND UNWILLING TO HEAR THEM OUT.That can COST us dearly.AMAZING, isn’t All you need is a little GIVE AND TAKE and instead of making an adversary who ‘ll oppose you,you’ll be inviting an ally to join you in a mutually,lasting relationship.
