RELATIONSHIPS…
“Relationship” is perhaps one of the commonest words in the diction of many youths today. Thanks to Facebook, I get at least one notification every week that has to do with somebody being “in a relationship” or a “complicated relationship”. But it’s worthy of note that as interesting as the word is, many people are only familiar with the shallow contemporary interpretation of the word! Relationship is a very broad word—as broad as broad can be! It’s broad enough to contain everybody you have ever met and every other person that you will ever meet…directly or indirectly!
In simple English, the word means “connectedness”…i.e. the way in which two or more things are connected. Relationship is derived from the verb “relate” which originated from the Latin word referre meaning “bring back”! That goes to mean that when there is a Relationship between 2 people, there is something about one of them that “brings back” the other! There is something that brings them both back to the same page! There is something that connects them!
So in the context of this broadness, every relationship can be in one or more of these 3 orders:
1. 1st Order Relationship…Related for a REASON.
This is a BASIC level for ALL relationships. There is always a reason for it! There is a room why you are sharing the room with your roommates. There is a reason why you sat next to the guy that asked you how to log in in the cyber café last week. There is a reason why your 6-year old neighbour likes to calls you Brother or Sister. There is a reason why that hooligan is your classmate. There is always a reason for meeting everyone you have ever met…whether they love you or not!
Some people think that relationship only exists when both parties love each other…or are on agreeable terms…NO! Relationship is broader than that. Even the fellow that hates you to your face is related with you…at least on that basis! There is always a reason for every Relationship—be it family, or hatred, or slavery, or servanthood, or righteousness, or whatever!
2. 2nd Order relationship…Related for a SEASON.
Like the first order, every Relationship also passes through this level.
The love you have for some one or the hate they have for you is but for a season! Sometimes, it could be as short as for 5 minutes…other times; it could be as long as for days, weeks, months or even years! But the fact remains that you are not only related to someone for a reason…but also for a season!
This is what many people fail to discern! Some Relationships are just not meant to last for long! If you keep servicing them to keep them, you end up wasting time and resources! As long as it is important for us to be in Relationships, we should also endeavor to know “for how long?”
The guy that complimented your outfit does not necessarily deserve to have your phone number! Just as there are other people that you should give it to even if they didn’t ask for it!
Know why…and know for how long!
3. 3rd Order Relationship…related FOR LIFE.
This is marital Relationship—the most delicate of them all! As a matter of fact, only ONE of your numerous Relationships is meant to ascend to that order! That makes it really delicate!
Trust me; (if you know wahat you want and you know who you are) you will know it when he/she comes! On your own path, I will simply advise you to keep a “documentation” of what you want in him/her…and when he/she comes, you will know! After “keeping the documentation”, it’s not a time to go keep entering into Relationship s with an are-you-the-one-mentality! Just get yourself busy doing the things you love and developing yourself while your singleness lasts! When he/she comes, you WILL KNOW!
The problem with many people is that they have awakened love while it wasn’t ready! So they get so marital-sensitive that they keep assessing everyone they meet desiring to know if they are the one. It doesn’t work that way! What happens when you take an unripe orange? Or when you eat an uncooked yam? Or break an unboiled egg from its shell? Those are taste disasters—trust me!
So if you are one of those that has awaken love while it’s not yet time…there is just one way…TAKE IT BACK TO SLEEP! I wish I could be more practical but…
OUR ATTITUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Generally, we have one basic principle for all relationships…LOVE!
I must admit that that is another complex word on its own. Everyone seems to have their own definition for love…but I’m less concerned about your definition…I’m only particular about the practical aspect of love,that is living your definition of love!
Bible also advises us that he who will have friends must BE FRIENDLY!
Let me end it all on this note…the only reason why we can talk about being in a relationship is because there are DIFFERENCES and SIMILARITIES! Many have magnified the SIMILARITIES and neglected the fact that there MUST BE DIFFERENCES too!
You are my friend because when I’m wrong, you won’t be wrong with me but will rather confront, correct and chastise me…
You are my enemy because you just don’t like me for who I am…we view life from different windows…
You are my spouse first and foremost because you are of AN OPPOSITE SEX…
You are my jealous neighbour because I have what you do not have…
You are my teacher because you know what I don’t know…
You are my master because you have the authority that I do not have…
God is MY GOD because He’s Holy and Righteous and Loving…perfectly…and I’m not! So I went to Him to show me how to be like that…by his grace!
The CAPITAL basis of all relationships is DIFFERENCES. Never forget that! It will lessen your unhappy moments when you bring that fact back to mind!
I Love You!
Catch you soon…
