Just as men have needs, so also do women have needs. The car needs the petrol to function effectively; without it, the car will not work. You need your car, and your car needs the petrol; you don’t need the petrol, it is your car that needs. Is it wise to buy what you don’t need? Remember, if you don’t go out to get the petrol, you would have dis-empowered the car to meet your own personal needs. Even though you don’t like or drink the petrol, you have to supply the car what it needs, so as to get you what you need. The same applies between a man and a woman’s relationship. Women are said to incubators, it is what you give to the woman that determines what she give to you. You give are a sperm, she gives you a baby; you give money, she gives you food; give her trouble, she gives hell. If you don’t like what you getting from your wife, then change what you are giving her. She has needs that must be met and it is the responsibility of the man to meet those needs. Here are a few of them:
1. Your wife needs affection.
A woman does not need sex as much as she needs affection and love. In fact, it is good to understand that affection is not sex. Most men believe that after their sexual experience, that the woman is happy; that is not necessarily true. As a matter of fact, most women are angry and frustrated when their husbands climaxes, because she is not fulfilled. A woman doesn’t want affection, she needs it. Affection is the application of an ‘effect’ to produce an ‘affect’. To show affection is to someone, you have to apply something to the person. Examples of affection are: telling your wife every morning that you love and cherish her; buying her a gift for no special reason; buying her flowers (they like it and I don’t know why); holding her hands in public in the presence of your old girl-friend; taking her for a surprise dinner; waking her up with a kiss in the morning, telling her how much you appreciate her; bringing a cup of water for her in bed; calling on the phone every time, telling her you love her, and so on. Affection is not expensive, it only requires thinking. Hi man, do you drink petrol? No. Do you like it? No. What needs the petrol? The car does. Who buys the petrol into the car? You do. But why, you don’t like it, how come you are buying it? Because the car needs it, to be able function effectively for you, thereby meeting your needs too.
2. Your wife needs conversation.
Women are talking beings. They need to talk, but how will they express and release themselves without a listener. Man, you have to learn the art of listening. Remember, she needs it to be able to meet your needs too. Until you learn to listen to your wife, you are yet to become a good husband. It is wickedness not to listen to your wife. I think it is wisdom for women themselves to know how to make their husband give them the conversation they need, and they can do that by also seeking to meet their husband’s second need—recreational companionship, this is when the woman get involved in what her husband love to do. As he gets his companionship, you get you conversation, because as you join him in what he is doing, he becomes willing to talk and listen to you. Can you see it is a give and take experience?
3. Your wife needs honesty and openness.
A woman does not want honest and openness from her man, she hungers for them. Don’t you ever tell anyone what you haven’t told your wife. She must never hear anything from outside about you before telling her yourself. She hates it! I hope I’m speaking your minds ladies? Your wife needs to know you are trustworthy. A woman glows, when she feels secure because she knows you are been honest with her. But when she feels you are not opened enough, she dies within. Men, you can express your true love by been honestly sincere with your wife. Remember, you don’t have to feel like telling everything, you just have to make yourself do it if you want her to effectively function for you.
4. Your wife needs your financial support.
Regardless of whether the woman works or not, it does not nullify this need. She is not the head of the home, you are. She should not be under any obligation to work to provide for the family except she so desires to. You, the man, being the head of the home are responsible for the up-keep and care of all that is under your leadership. The woman needs to be provided for. A man who cannot adequately provide for his family cannot truly express love for them, even if he does. Your wife needs your financial provision. Whatever you demand as a man, you must first supply. You want food on the table? Then drop the money for her.
5. Your wife needs your family commitment and security.
The fifth need of a woman is to be certain and confident that she is the most important person in your life as the husband, physically, emotionally and socially. That is why a good husband would always re-affirm his love and commitment to his wife every day. She needs to know that she is secure in your heart, with no rivalry. Her security in the relationship encourages her to release herself completely into your arms. Man, you have to let her know that you will always be by her side no matter what happens. I discovered that if you don’t like what you are getting from your wife, then change what you are giving her.
