RELATIONSHIPS: WHY DO FRIENDS FIGHT?
Why do misunderstandings between best friends or good friends hurt most? Good friends are duty bound not to hurt each other. So why do they? Or…Why will a good friend betray or hurt another? Biblically, “a man’s enemy is in his own house” but why is this so? What prompts a person who should protect a friend to betray a friend? Ever heard of “familiarity breeds contempt”???? So does this mean we shouldn’t get familiar? How do friends graduate from acquaintances to best friends without getting familiar?
What to check here is insecurity. A lot of people navigate life with respect to how other people (neighbors’ or friends) do. They have no clue about what they want and so cannot utilize their initiative. They use other people’s achievements as yardsticks for theirs. Lots of ‘best friends’ exist because of this situation-to monitor and tap from another’s initiative. So when does betrayal or hurt start? Probably when the party with no initiative cannot keep up with the ‘yardstick’ anymore. Good friends or best friends “operate on the same plane”. They have no secrets and do everything together.
This is honorable but unrealistic because human beings react negatively when their privacy’s invaded! Betrayal is initiated when all of a sudden…after doing “everything together” one party…”yardstick” or “the other” insists on maintaining and preserving privacy. The betrayal is actually a reaction to being shut out!
Solution? Let us strive to belong to the category of person that “makes things happen”. Why so? We become originals and our own ‘yardsticks’! Forming a habit to self-develop helps too. Knowledge always wants to be expressed. As we acquire information we expose ourselves to new horizons that creates desire to explore and experiment. The rippling effect is a “boundary less” perspective and orientation towards relating with everyone regardless of background or race. Why all this? Truth is that nobody likes to belong to the category of persons that wait for things to happen. People that make things happen gather a lot of attention. So? Where do you belong? Be a good friend…….don’t fight.
