Everyone is a product of his or her thinking. You are not what people say you are, neither are you what circumstances make you to be; you are whatever you have ever thought you are. Your present reality is the manifestation of your thought-life. Now, when your thoughts are not in agreement with God’s thought for your life, you will remain in the valley of negative and low self-esteem.
The moment we continue to allow people’s opinion of us to become our reality, then we will never reach our goals and therefore amount to nothing. Don’t allow people opinion to determine the way you see yourself. You are who God says you are. You are the head and not the tail; you are above; you are a great person; you are relevant; you are an achiever; you are blessed.
Remember: NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SMALL AND INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION
The dictionary defines self-esteem as having a good estimation, opinion and perception of one’s self. Simply put, it means seeing yourself the way God sees you. Until we understand how God sees us to the extent that we also begin to see ourselves in that same light, we will never have the correct perception and estimation of whom we really are.
Self-esteem is actually the image you have of yourself. It is how you regard or value yourself in term of your uniqueness and distinctness as an individual.
TWO KINDS OF SELF-ESTEEM
1: A POSITIVE OR HIGH SELF-ESTEEM:
This means to have a good and positive estimation of yourself. It means to have a high regard for yourself. However, you have to be very careful not to allow your high self-esteem lead you into pride. It is good to value yourself highly, which is the reason for this article, but it becomes wrong and sinful when you think of yourself MORE highly. The scripture says we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think. God didn’t say you should not think of yourself or value yourself highly, but not to the extreme. God hates pride. The moment you begin to value yourself above others, you are beginning to exhibit pride.
A positive and strong self-esteem is not based on what you have or lack; neither is it based on what you have done nor achieved. It is a function of your understanding of who you really are in God’s mind.
2: A NEGATIVE OR LOW SELF-ESTEEM:
This is the kind that destroys us, and God is against it. A person with a low self-esteem is one who perceives no value for himself or herself. Such has no regard or respect for himself or herself.
This negative perception of oneself contributes to the wayward and destructive behaviour of young people in our generation. A low self-esteem demeans you; it makes you settle for less; it makes it easy for people to dominate, manipulate and intimidate you.
People with high and positive self-esteem are usually happy and confident. It is not about bragging about what you have, or your accomplishment; but it is taking stock of what kind of person you are from within.
A positive self-esteem is an important trait of every individual because it influences and determines your rate of relevance and success in life.
A person with a positive self-esteem respects himself, and this makes others respect him. If we respect ourselves as young people, we won’t naked our precious bodies before someone we are not married to. If we truly love ourselves, we won’t destroy our lungs with cigarettes. If we value ourselves that much, we won’t deal with drugs, and engage in cultism, and eventually destroy our precious lives. The truth is that, all those who indulge in these things are dealing with a negative, or low self-esteem.
9 WAYS TO BUILD A POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM
1: ACKNOWLEDGE AND ACCEPT YOUR UNIQUE NATURE.
“Then God said, “let us make man in our own image, after our likeness…” Gen 1:26.
You are God’s unique creature on a special mission on earth. You have a distinct design and make-up. There is no other ‘you’ on planet earth. You are the best of your kind. Your unique gifts, abilities and skills are all proofs of your exceptional nature. No one talks like you, smells like you, walks exactly like you, or has the same finger prints like you. YOU ARE UNIQUE.
However your uniqueness, until you are able to acknowledge, and accept the true reality of your uniqueness, you can never have a correct estimation and perception of yourself. You don’t value what you don’t know. When you acknowledge, accept and value your uniqueness nature, you would have begun the process of building a strong self-esteem for a fulfilled life.
2: DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE
Finding the true purpose for being who you are, and for behaving the way you do, is very crucial to the building of a positive self-esteem. When you acknowledge the truth that God made you the way you are for a special and separate purpose, you will have a new and better estimation of yourself, and thereby feel good about yourself. You will appreciate your uniqueness, and not be tempted to think you are in any way inferior to any other person.
You are everything you are because of your purpose. you have all the abilities and gifts in you because of your purpose. You look the way you do because of your purpose. you are the way you are because of the WHY you are.
3: CATCH A CLEAR VISION FOR YOUR LIFE
When you begin to see with your mind’s eyes your true purpose, then it becomes a vision. Purpose is to know why you were born, but vision is caught when you begin to see your purpose through your imagination. Vision is powerful; you can never fulfill your purpose in life until it is translated unto vision.
If someone told you that he has deposited 100 million dollars into your bank account, it is very possible to doubt the person, but when you see with your two eyes your banks statement of account, and it agrees to the fact that someone has actually deposited 100 million dollars into your bank account, you will certain believe with all your heart. That is the effect that a clear vision causes in a person’s life. You become certain about your purpose that you don’t care what people say. you know, you are a great miracle going somewhere to happen.
4: DISCOVER YOUR UNIQUE GIFTS AND ABILITIES
When you become aware of your unique gifts and abilities, you will have a positive and high estimation of yourself. Your abilities and gifts are things that are unique to you alone. Nobody in the whole world has the same kind of abilities and gifts that you have, neither is there anyone who can do what you can do the same you would do them.
When you therefore discover your unique abilities and gifts, you naturally begin to see yourself as an important person because people always value anybody who has abilities and gifts which they don’t have. People will look for you, even those who have looked down on you before. Remember David in the Bible, the young boy who killed Goliath; when king Saul had a problem, they needed someone who could play the harp, and because David was know to be very good at playing the harp, the king ask the guards to go look for David, and that was how David who had never entered the palace began to live in the king’s palace.
The discovery of your unique gifts and abilities are great esteem boosters. Find them, develop them and use them.
5: SELF-LOVE
I want you to remember the commandment that Jesus gave, he said, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ and not more than yourself.
It is not possible to love people if you don’t love yourself. This is why Jesus gave the commandment. The amount of love you give out is determined by how much of it you possess. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love those around you and if you don’t love people you will go to hell.
Having accepted your uniqueness in God, you have to love yourself the way you are. Talk positive about yourself; eat good food, protect yourself; keep yourself away from destructive behaviours; give your body a good rest and enjoy your life.
6: SELF-RESPECT
The truth is that what you don’t respect, people will not help you respect it. If you show high regard and respect for yourself, people will respect you. To respect something means to have a high regard, honour and value for that thing. Do you value and respect yourself? It is the easiest thing to know, simply by how you dress; how you talk about yourself; how you carry yourself in the midst of your friends, and importantly what you say yes and no to.
Saying Yes to an action or person that will destroy your life is a sign that you lack respect for yourself. E.g. saying yes to prostitution, cultism, riot, sex before marriage, abortion, stealing, fighting and so on. Be wise to say No to anything that will damage your wonderful life and future. That is self-respect and ultimately a good, strong and high self-esteem.
7: SELF-BELIEF
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Philippians 4:13.
Everything God does is a response to our beliefs. Jesus says if you believe in him, you will have eternal life. Apostle Paul tells us that without faith, it is impossible to please God. If God says this is who you are — a great and successful person, an influential and relevant figure in the society. It is wisdom for you to believe in yourself to become all that God has said about your future.
If you don’t believe, then you are working against God to bring to pass his plans for your life.
Self-belief is not an act of trusting in your own power or strength. What strength do you have in the first place that was not given by God. It is simply the assurance in you that you can, and will become all that God has destined for you to become i.e. an inward assurance and confidence in the abilities and grace that God has given to you, and by doing so, you are building your self-esteem. You will get there!
8: MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES
Someone said, “You know a great man by how he treats small men”. What a wisdom! Apostle Paul also said that we should esteem others above ourselves.
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Make up your mind to treat people nicely. I have discovered that everybody loves to be respected, and by making people feel important about themselves you are indirect making yourself happy.
Some of the impact of what you are doing is that you are saving yourself from the plague and temptation of insecurity, inferiority complex, envy, hatred and jealousy.
Call people by their names; smile at people; look straight into the eyes of people while you give your compliments; always point out something good about someone; be thankful when people do any favour to you or anyone around you, and encourage others when they are in trouble.
9: DISPLAY YOUR FAITH IN PEOPLE
Let those around you know that you believe in them. Tell them you do. When they don’t hit the mark of their expectations, re-affirm your believe in them. This action will help you develop a very strong belief in your ability to succeed, and also save you from the temptation of criticism. THANKS.
