The relation of parents to children must be characterized by love. Love is not always easy and pleasant; sometimes parents need “tough love.” Let us consider what love leads parents to do and what it leads them to not do. To have the proper loving family for their children, husband and wife need to start by loving one another.
Love should lead husband and wife to be faithful to their marriage covenant. Neither should want their marriage to end. Children deserve the security of knowing their home will always be there. Parents think, “I can’t make my children happy if I’m not happy, but I’ll never be happy in this marriage.” But this is selfishness, not love.
Divorce is incredibly traumatic to children, leaving scars for life. What troubled marriages need is not divorce but to learn to get along. It is not enough just for parents to stay together; they also need to love and treat one another right. Husband and wife need to speak and act affectionately. Intimacy should be kept private, but children should never doubt that their parents love one another.
Do you love your wife/husband? If not, then repent and learn to love. Did you hug, kiss, and hold hands when you were first married? Then what is so hard about it now? If you do love, then say so and show it! Your spouse needs to know it and your children need to know it.
Children need to be raised in an atmosphere of love and good will. A pattern of fussing and fighting between parents leads to insecurity and fear for the children. In addition, often the children will imitate that disruptive behavior in their own families when they marry. On the other hand, when parents establish a pattern of stating and expressing affection, children have a sense of security and they learn the importance of showing affection in their own families.
The first and most basic aspect of love that any parents need is to learn to love one another. Their love for the children should follow from here.
