Hi patients, you know i care so much about you, so am giving you this advance warning whenever i have a major football tournament.
1.Make your complaints short and to the point. Am really not interested in your family and social history.
2. If you have been sick for over 5 days, and you are just coming for the first time, another 2 hour wait for the match to end will not kill you.
3. Patients on the ward are advised to keep arms that have IV lines ABSOLUTELY still during the period of any match as any tissued lines will not be reset.
4. Pregnant women: if you know your expected date of delivery falls on a day my team is playing, come to me NOW for some quick tips on self delivery( items needed, warm towels and really sharp scissors or garden shears).
5. Road accidents, except your head is cut off, be satisfied with a bandage for any…and i mean any kind of injury.
6. Consultation time now for any complaint is one minute, if you feel you need to talk more, i will be glad to refer you elsewhere.
7. Patients and nurses, the fact that i am watching the tv on the wards does not mean i came in for consultations.
8. People with ONLY ONE of the following symptoms will not be seen:
1. Insomnia
2. Headache
3. Cough or catarrh
4. lack of appetite
5. Pain (please note that pain and agony are not the same thing)
Thanks for your support.
Your doc.
