The first time I heard that phrase, I was 7 years old. No, I didn’t grow up in a brothel, you perverts! I was raised in no nonsense, strict middle class home. (Thanks, Mrs. T). I heard it in a party where we were dancing to the hit song ‘Shinamania’ by Sir Shina Peters. Like so many other borderline sayings e.g sweet banana, I did not understand it until I was 16 or so. It simply means kudi for the bootie…cash for the ass…I’m sure you get I now…
Now I don’t have beef for professional sex workers. I mean, a girl’s gotta do what she gotta do, innit? If she decides that her honey pot (read that first in Nackson though) into a conduit for all sorts of ‘anacondas’ to get paid, well, I wish her well. As a matter of fact, I like hookers because they’re quite straightforward. 1.5 for fellatio, 3k for a quickie, 8k T.D.B. – don’t ask me how I know the price list My real grouse is with seemingly regular girls.
Now, I’m very not gay –my 8 or so exes can testify and so can a few other shags- and I do not hate women. I am a true feminist. It just sets me off when women use their racks and shelves to commit 419 on us guys. (By the way sef, why is that most of us guys will do almost anything for the faintest promise or possibility of sex?)
Whether to blame it on the global cash crunch, or the over-soji of chics, I don’t know. You so much as say hi to a woman and she just transfers all her economic woes to you. Even if she doesn’t like you, she still wants to scrimp of you. If don’t buy her food (are you that hungry?), or buy her airtime, or just dash her a few thousand bucks, you’re labeled cheap and Miss Congeniality instantly turns to Ice Queen.
I accept that it’s a manly thing to do to take someone out and foot the bill, but the going out should be about having fun together, not assume the role of a father. Sometimes I don’t pity some chics when they lament that a guy just appeared to be nice until they hit the sack. Really, lady, what were you expecting? Homeboy just recouped his investment and moved on.
That’s why me myself, I like a woman who’s got her own. A woman who doesn’t need my help to get by. It’s okay if I volunteer but not that our liaison is based on what I’ve got or haven’t got. If that were the case, it follows logically that I would only want what I can get and how much of it I can get for a cinema ticket, Barcelos lunches, ice cream, pizza etc…wahali some girls eat like they breed a bear in their guts. Any wonder why most Naija women have pot bellies?
Thankfully, I have never been involved with a bring-bring woman. I smell y’all from a mile and I don’t need that crap. And sharp bad guys that allow you hang like dungarees only got one aim- get that G-string down south…oww..
So if you don’t like a guy, tell him not to waste his breath. Or if you’re actually that broke that you have to live off a guy, get a job or learn a trade or something. While you think you’re being the winner because you have a steady meal ticket, we know we’re getting the better deal. There has to be a reason why vagina tightners sell that much, don’t you think?
