I hate fags… Call me backward; accuse me of lacking an open mind, it wouldn’t change anything… I HATE FAGS! Ok, maybe not lesbians sha. Somehow I think, (along with over 3,000,000,000 males worldwide) the sight of two females fornicating is not so gross. But this isn’t about my sexual inclination; this particular rant of mine is about the very scary proliferation of homosexuals in Nigeria.
There is nothing more revolting than two males kissing and groping each other. Well, maybe watching three males is worse sha, but I’m sure you know what I mean. I really don’t understand how two guys can be sexually attracted to each other. It completely baffles me! I mean, what primarily attracts people to members of the opposite sex are the physical qualities which they lack. That’s why fellas go crazy when they see females with big boobs and well shaped hips and bums, and the females go nuts over guys that look like The Rock! But two guys? Horseshit!
Have you noticed that more and more males have started coming out of the closet and are publicly declaring their sexual preferences? Males imitating the mannerisms of females; dressing all faggish in extremely tight clothes and accessories that are traditionally adorned by females. It makes me sick to my stomach! I always feel like kicking the fucking shit out of any sonofabitch fag I see, but I am not ready to be a guest of the sonofabitch Nigerian police on assault and battery charges! I’ll share a true life story that one of my friends told me some days ago…
One sunny day, a fella was trying to get a bus from Ojuelegba to wherever the hell he was going to. This guy was very handsome in a feminine way; picture Orlando Bloom or Wentworth Miller. For the purpose of this tale, we’ll call him Orlando Bloom. Unfortunately for him, a Gaylord was stalking his every movement, looking for an opportunity to make his acquaintance. A Gaylord is a dyed-in-the-wool, unrepentant sonofabitch homosexual. Orlando Bloom eventually got on a bus, sitting on the first row just behind the driver’s seat, close to the window. Big mistake! Gaylord rushed at the bus and bull-dozed his way in and sat beside Orlando. Now, Gaylord was a big fella. I mean real big! Maybe 6”2, weighed about 95kg and was black and ugly as Obasanjo was when he was like 30 years old. A real nasty piece of work… Probably had some bad-ass body odour and breath too…
As the bus made its way towards its destination, Gaylord nonchalantly draped an arm around Orlando’s shoulders, as if the space on the seat was cramped and he was trying to get more comfortable. Orlando glanced at Gaylord once like, ‘Dude, not so close!’ Since Gaylord’s action was not particularly offensive and is something that is common in Lagos buses, he didn’t read too much meaning into the action and he continued looking out of the window. Gaylord’s breath quickened, as he sat beside this potential ‘faggee’ and felt his soft, effeminate flesh under his clothes. He drew closer, practically grinding him into the door of the bus, his loins stirring in lust and his breathing becoming more and more laboured. At this point, Orlando was getting alarmed and he told Gaylord, in a loud voice, to move the fuck back and give him some breathing room. Gaylord did, his feelings hurt and his lust temporarily dampened. Orlando continued looking out of the window, uncomfortable with this abrasive stranger beside him. Some seconds later, he felt Gaylord tapping his shoulder, as if trying to get his attention. He whirled around, ready to tell Gaylord off in the strongest of terms and turned smack into a crushing, saliva exchanging kiss with Gaylord who grabbed him and squeezed and groped him for all he was worth! The passengers of the buses stared wide-eyed at this spectacle and the driver, who saw the act through his rear-view mirror, maneuvered the bus to the curb where he parked and tried to compose himself.
Gaylord finally released Orlando and sat back, a big smile on his face. ‘Oya, I don kiss you now. Wetin you wan do?’ He challenged. Orlando just sat there in a severe state of shock, Gaylord’s saliva dripping down his mouth and his eyes wider than Andy Uba’s when he got access to the Anambra State treasury! The passengers in the bus were miffed at Gaylord’s bizarre action but wisely kept their traps shut. Gaylord could bash all their heads in simultaneously without breaking a sweat and it is more than likely they recognized that fact. Orlando finally came out of his state of shock and mutely crossed over Gaylord and disembarked from the bus. He stood on the curb as the bus moved away and dumbly stared at his attacker who was blowing kisses at him and winking slyly. I suspect Orlando ended up in a mental institution after that incident…
Rumors have been swirling around town on how politicians meet young, attractive males and lavish them with material items and fag the hell out of them. Fresh rumors have started making the rounds about how the crevices of a very popular Nigerian musician have been defiled by the ex-VP! The Nigerian Senate was debating passing a bill to outlaw homosexualism but it got shot down. I suspect most of those retards are active members of that society and it was not in their interests to pass the bill. Good grief!
Omo, I’ve run out of steam! Ranting about fags can be tiring work! If them fags want to tear their assholes up and run the risk of asshole cancer (what? You haven’t heard of that? Wikipedia it!), that’s their lookout! I completely respect their choices in life, just as long as they don’t try and fag me sha!
