There are five topics in this series which was inspired to examine some basic family matters and how it affects the modern woman, as her lifestyle is changing according to the times. It is aimed at producing beneficial and positive results. Here goes.
Are you spending more leisure time with your spouse and less quality time for the needs of your kids? Please, do not get me wrong. I am not putting it as debatable whether or not the spouse is entitled to more of your attention than the kids. The only reason why this issue is discussable is the fact that in the process of trying to do the right things in life, we often times get carried away by accumulating good intentions which do not come to pass because we didn’t see to it that they did. There may be no point in wishing that your three year-old toddler comes out as the neatest in school when you don’t assist in dressing him/her up every morning before school, or, that your older son becomes a word-class football player when you haven’t taken the time out to find out what his talents are and assist in developing it. I have come across two categories of children who are products of a typical stable home: some said that their talents were discovered and developed alone, whilst others have their parents to thank for their personal successes today. Every successful child is the pride of the parents. You can assist in making them so.
You must realise that as the woman and the center and indispensable light of the home, the well-being of everyone in it revolves around you, hence your important role to play. Your kids and your spouse need your attention almost at the same time, so do get your priorities right without keeping either party lacking. You definitely don’t want to hurt your spouse and at the same time you don’t want your kids feeling you are distancing yourself from them. ‘Neglected’ children may tend to feel un-special, may become restless and withdrawn, and sometimes find naughty and loud ways of getting attention. At that tender age, your kids know no other safety and warmth other than the one in their homes and what they are getting.
Create bonding family-time together e.g., play games, watch TV together. Go to Sunday Church together, sit as a family (if permitted). Just as you are making sure the intimate moments with your spouse is still steamy and ongoing, make him committed to caring for the entire family as a whole. Draw his attention to this, gently. Pay delicate attention to the kids, see to their homework, put them in the path of the Scriptures. Do this as a family. Taking care of children is by no means easy but doing it together will take the strain off you. Do not take anyone’s needs for granted, whether they are telling you or not, your kids crave your attention but you should strike a balance so as not to be the submissive wife but negligent mother, or the caring mother but ‘unavailable’ wife. Being the best in both worlds must be a natural impulse so that you may find that balancing the ‘attention equation’ was quite easier than you had imagined.
(Next topic: Trading your Spouse for the Kids?)
