Your intimate moments, the romance and emotional aspects of your entire life had been shared with him before the arrival of the children. But of course, with the coming of the kids, a part of your time now is theirs. They look up to you for practically anything. This is the motherly instinct that endears your kids closer to you. However you must remember your spouse’s needs are as real. Men can also be attention-seekers: their own way of knowing or being reassured of your love and commitment to them. Generally, no matter how much both parents adore their kids, it would be nice for them to know that either partner is not overdoing it to the detriment of the other’s emotional security.
There was a time when you were romantic and the both of you always did share quiet evenings and candlelight dinners together. These times should not be forgotten even with a ‘full’ house. You can still recreate these moments with your spouse. Spend time as a family but when the kids are in bed, give him this world he craves for. Create an atmosphere where he and the kids can be able to communicate with each other thus making him more committed to family issues. Encourage him to join in taking care of the little ones’ demands and concerns (considering there is no nanny in the house), in this way you will not feel exhausted by the time he wants to take you both on an intimate romantic outing. Do not spend so much time looking after the kids that your personal appearance is completely abandoned and that looking good becomes to you, tiresome. The modern woman must be able to put things in focus and balance the equation, in that her family members get a little piece of her as often as it’s possible.
(Next topic : Trading family for work?
