HIT THAT BITCH!!!
“But that’s not what I meant! I was explaining that –“ She tries to explain.
“That was what you said! Can’t you think?! Are you a monkey or something?” He responds.
“If I am a monkey, what would you be?” She retorts.
SLAP.
If she’s ‘fortunate’ and wise enough to keep her mouth shut, that would be the end of that. But; as is typical of most women, if she keeps talking, it most likely will continue.
SLAP. PUNCH. KICK. CHOKE.
And so on.
I’m talking about physically abusive relationships that seem to be the trend nowadays. And what’s most scary about this issue; the part that prompted me to make this the issue of discussion today is the fact that the women are starting to accept it as the norm.
Why would a man hit a woman?
Well…I have several theories and ideas (which may be or not be right), the first of which would be insecurity/lack of self-identity. The guy has issues of self-esteem, so therefore he lords his ‘manliness’ over members of the opposite sex because he cannot do so with his own sex mates; he feels smaller than them.
The second would be as a result of a violent background; maybe the man comes from a house where the father hit the mother to make her toe the line, or maybe he constantly beat his sisters to put them in check. So he grew up with the idea that hitting a woman is the only way you can make her listen. Tough luck.
Third (and the most unlikely) is the possibility that he grew up in the middle of women and was spoilt beyond reason; so therefore he is used to having his way. Back in his home, when he did not have his way he would throw fits and temper tantrums and cry until he got what he wanted. But because of the nature of the relationship, all that is probably out of the question so he resolves to the most unwise option: physical abuse.
A man once told me ‘any man who has to shout at his wife about the fact that he is the husband has already lost his position’. I strongly agree. I don’t think I have to scream at anyone…I don’t think I need to remind anyone of my gender…I think it goes to be seen. How much more having to pound it into someone; someone who it is my responsibility to protect; someone who has entrusted me with her well-being and so
on? Hold a minute; do the marriage vows mean nothing now?
Something happened in a neighborhood hospital; a boy brought in his girlfriend who was complaining of severe stomach pains. They told a very lame and unconvincing story of how she had fallen down a flight of stairs, and asked the doctor to see her. Unfortunately, she was pregnant and twice unfortunately; she lost the baby. Finally the story came out that they had been having an argument; he wanted to go somewhere and she wanted to go with him which he did not want. She accused him of infidelity and he had gone ballistic, hitting her all over and finally kicking her in the stomach. Hence the amateur abortion.
She was quite dry-eyed after they had done the whole stomach-flushing thing, and as they were heading for home she slipped her hand in his. It did do my old heart good to see young love flourish; except that was no young love; it was murder…or at least was going to be.
I worry a lot. Now most of those worries manifest themselves in form of those one-liner status updates I’m so notorious on Facebook for; but I am not bothered because I feel this world could do with one more conscience. Now this young man would probably kill a kid who had the balls to put his sister in the family way without doing it the right way first, but then D’Banj is the one who popularized the slang ‘kokolet’ and wouldn’t allow anyone call his sister that. So maybe all women are equal, but some are more equal than others.
I wonder; why would a woman put up with physical abuse? Does it have to do with that myth that women are much more than men? I am yet to see a woman who is not married because ‘men don finish’; have you? Sean Connery sometime ago was accused of spousal abuse; he was said to have knocked his partner around a bit though she denied it. He also denied it, but was recorded to have said, ‘women need to be knocked around a little sometimes, even they know they need it’. I spoke to some women before writing this, and it would seem that the greater percentage think women do overdo it sometimes, and the best way for a man to set her/them straight is the use of physical force. Fine; maybe in a situation like maybe she’s hysterical and out of control, saying some crazy stuff, it might be necessary to smack her once to bring her back to herself; the same way you might smack an unconscious person gently to wake him/her up. But to go as far as pounding…
Now, beyond a doubt women seem to have a gift for exasperating the crap out of any man; level-headed or no. I mean, she’s nagging and stuff, and the guy is trying hard to keep his cool, and then she rushed and grabs his shirt and tears it off him, or worse, kicks his balls. OUCH.
What is a man to do?
I really do think there are alternatives to physically pounding her. ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’, and like I love to say ‘there are more than nine ways to skin a cat.’ You don’t have to beat her to punish her, and NO ONE on this planet will award you points for drawing blood from a woman; except maybe in a life-death situation. Define that yourself.
A man I used to know had a routine: finish at work, get drunk, go home, beat the shit out of the wife, rape her (depending on his disposition), and then sleep. And then do the whole damn thing all over again. The weekends were worse. They had a landlord who was radical; but when his wife asked him to interfere he said ‘if she’s tired she will do something about it.’
On this fateful day (I like that!) the guy comes home roaring drunk. Wife opens the door and he slaps her, and then as he puts down his suitcase and starts rolling his sleeves to do what he does, she hits him on the head with a pestle secreted behind the door. And as he lay on the floor, helpless, she calmly breaks both of his arms.
Guy is taken to the hospital, both arms and head immobilized. Then she would bring food, send out all the nurses, gag and beat the crud out of him daily. Now I don’t know where she learnt to beat him such that the doctors would not notice any new bruises, but she got away with it. When the landlord went visiting, the man tearfully told him of his fears that his wife wanted to kill him. The landlord chastised him, telling him that if his wife wanted to kill him she would have while he was lying on the floor dead to the world. And then the man told him to amend his ways.
I had a friend in the university whose boyfriend has slept with about three of her friends; and when I asked her about it she said “men will always cheat, so she might as well get used to it”. Excuse my language, but whoever sold/sells that crock of shit is no less than a fool. It’s like saying all men are dogs, and if women marry men, it follows that women are….you get my point.
Not all men are cheats; in fact I can proudly tell you that the percentage of faithful men is much more than the unfaithful ones. The only reason you would not agree is because no one gives the faithful men medals; they are not celebrated; the newspapers do not carry their stories. That is not to say they do not exist; so for you as a woman to tie yourself to a cheating male because you think you can’t do better is notoriously selling yourself short; just as it is crazy for a woman to tie herself to an abusive spouse. I do not know what reason would be good enough for a woman to endure physical abuse, maybe I could be enlightened. But know this; a man who beats his wife/girlfriend/baby mother is indeed; in the general description ascribed men by professional men-haters, a dog.
